We love weddings, but not for the reasons you might think.
It’s not the dresses, the flowers, the food, or centerpieces. It’s not the bowties, the shoes, or the cake (even though we enjoy cake quite a bit). We’re particularly fond of our barn, but it’s not because of how pretty that space is either.
It’s the memories. Sharing moments. Feeling connected.
Your best friend zipping up your dress. A “first look” with your dad + brother. A moment of remembrance for the empty chair in the front row. Shaky hands while reading your vows. Tequila shots with all your cousins. The best man telling the story of how he knew you two were meant to be. Your grandparents winning the anniversary dance for 57 years together. Holding hands with your new partner and wondering if that will be you someday.
Most weddings last 5-6 hours. If you have family that lives out of state, or if you’re the one that moved away, that makes it tough to enjoy what time you have together without feeling rushed.
When was the last time you had a sleepover with your sister, his brothers, and all your best friends? Probably never. Do your parents + his parents cook dinner together often? Doubtful. Can you remember the last time you all drank beer and told stories around the campfire, or do you know when you’ll have that opportunity next?
Both sides of our immediate families make regular efforts to get together, even if it’s just for a quick dinner at the local diner. We try to plan one big gathering every summer, but it’s impossible to line up all the schedules. Someone is always missing.
The only time my entire family, his entire family, and all our friends have ever been in one space was on our wedding day 6 years ago. I can’t think of a time when that will happen again. We had more grandparents with us that day than we do now. My two best friends don’t live within driving distance anymore. We only had 80 guests, and the day was such a whirlwind that I didn’t even have a chance to eat dinner (a shame, because I heard it was fantastic). If I could go back, the only thing I’d want to change is to have more time.
We are creating this space to give couples an opportunity to slow down. The world is a mess, jobs are stressful, and everyone is more lonely than ever before (thanks, social media). So let it all go for the weekend. Focus on love. Focus on laughter. Leave your cell phone in the kitchen. Take a beer to the fire pit and tell everyone the story of when your brother lost his shorts while water skiing. Go for a walk in the field with your mom + almost-mother-in-law. Do some DIY decorating with your best friends. Drink coffee in the garden with person you’ve chosen to spend your life with. Show your niece how to catch a frog, then kiss it to make her laugh.
Nobody will remember how your centerpieces looked, but they will remember how it felt to be surrounded by so much love + joy. Cherish this opportunity for time together. Feel connected. Make the memories. Throw a really big party and spend the night.
Then make whoever is the least hungover cook breakfast.
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